Paradox

Alaknanda Market is one of the most happening markets and one of my usual haunts to pick up my  grocery and stuff I use for everyday needs. Since it has been almost 25years since I have been coming here, most of the shop keepers are known to me and unlike the huge department stores in malls with sales persons with plastic smiles and ready assistance, these are real people with warm smiles, who chat with you and know your family and instantly hand you what brands you use. They tolerate our tantrums and enjoy the haggling, making us feel like kings and queens in our domains!

There is a small jewelry shop in one corner of the market square. A cosy little shop with gold and silver jewelry. Most of my presents for weddings and birthdays have been bought here. The owner of this store is Vipin, a very polite man who has his shop full of women all the time. To squeeze into his store and browse is next to impossible, you need to make up your mind before you come here and ask for exactly what you want! Years back when my husband and I had a rare chance to chat with him and he said he was a great devotee of Shani.

Shani, ruled by the planet Saturn and Saturday being the day of Shani, he is worshiped on every Saturday. Being the Lord of deliverance, he grants us our wishes and imparts appropriate punishment according to our deeds - both good and bad. Shani is the elder brother of Yama, the God of death and sons of Surya the Sun. Yama, keeps records of our Karma from many lifetimes. The color of Shani is black and is mounted on a crow. While Yama, rides a buffalo and his color is red.

Vipin got a lot of small booklets of the Shani Chalisa printed to give to his customers. This book tells you how to appease this dark god of deliverance. I think I have it somewhere too! It so happened that he and his younger brother worked together once, separated as partners and worked from different shops but in the same market. It is surprising that Vipin has a prospering business and he is short of time, shop assistants who are always busy and order books full and overflowing. I am reminded of the message on the call center toll free numbers which make you wait for hours - saying " Please hold the line, your call is important to us, all our call center representatives are busy attending to other customers right now and will be with you shortly"!! On the other corner of the market is his brother Raman, another polite man always soliciting business from his brother's customers and sometimes quite a pain trying to brush him off! Curious, we asked Vipin, that rare day when we started to chat with him, what gets him his customers and their goodwill? Of course he gave all credit to his reigning god Shani, but also said something I am unlikely to ever forget. He said he readily gave his brother the money to set up shop where ever he wanted and in that process also was conned of 12,00,000 rupees from a fly by night operator on a saving scheme. That period, was financially very tough for him. We clicked our tongues in sympathy and sympathized with him on his losses. He said that the words of wisdom from the Gita always made him strong and never repent and curse your Karma OR curse the person who wronged you. But why, isn't it human to curse and badmouth that person? we asked. He said - " What I have lost was never mine and what I rightly deserve will never be taken from me, so why should I fret?" This opened our minds to clear a lot of the misgivings we had towards people, situations and circumstances. We have choices in our lives which we make consciously, so the consequence is also our own. We should remember that we have to live with these choices for the rest of our lives. So let us make right choices and not trample over others while doing so because we know what goes around comes around!! Thanks Vipin, for these words of wisdom!

Now let me tell you a little secret, Vipin Kumar's real name is Vipin Khan! Such is life's paradox.

Whatever has happened, has happened for good.
Whatever is happening, is happening for good.
Whatever is going to happen, it will be for good.
What have you lost for which you cry?
What did you bring with you, which you have lost?
What did you produce, which has destroyed?
You did not bring anything when you were born.
Whatever you have, you have received from Him.
Whatever you will give, you will give to Him.
You came empty handed and you will go the same way.

Whatever is yours today was somebody else's yesterday 

and will be somebody else's tomorrow.

SO WHY WORRY UNNECESSARILY?

Change is the law of the universe.

NOC

From the time I started this blog I have been listening a lot and watching people a lot. Seeing their reactions, striking a conversation with them and just communicate - a smile when needed. 

I was in my bank last week, as I received a letter from them saying that I had not operated my safe deposit box in a year and if i don't they would fine me! Strange that these conditions exist looking the contents of the safe deposit box, not that they know. It is no Swiss vault but a small deep box where I keep my 'precious' stuff towards the front edge or I would need to carry a torch to see what is in there deep, lest I forget.

While waiting, I was in good company of an elderly gentleman who was also waiting for some other work rather patiently. Filling out various forms and signing them and waiting... Boredom was something common we shared, waiting. He looked at me and smiled with slight uncertainty of a response. When I smiled back, he started his dismal story of his ordeal with government departments.  His wife died a couple of months back and he had just started to pick up pieces into his life alone. Their children settled abroad he had to deal with lot of paper work alone. His new journey had just begun! The fixed home phone was in his wife's name and he went to the telephone department to have it transferred in his name, the man across the counter was obviously apathetic to the plight of this old man. He asked to fill out a few forms. Waiting patiently, this septuagenarian thought that this was easy, with private phone companies offering phones and multi services  the government phone company would learn from competition. Lost in his thoughts he heard a voice and looked up at the Babu (synonym to a government officer) who was saying he needed an NOC (a No Objection Certificate). When asked from whom, he replied, from your wife!! He looked at him with shock and pointed at the death certificated he had attached. To which the Babu nodded and gave him a brief nod of dismissal! A fortnight later he receives a letter from this phone department and what does it say? 

"Congratulations, your phone will be transferred in your name successfully and the same information has been sent to your wife, if we do not hear from her in 30 days, it will be done automatically."

No guesses for the fact that this gentleman did not contact the phone department to correct the error!!

Then he related another incident which depicts the deep malaise in the dealings of public servants. He is a member of their housing society where he lives and was invited by the local Police station to see if the senior citizens are safe and verification drive for servants employed by them was taken seriously. Touched by the concern they visited the Police Station and waited for the Additional Commissioner of Police in his room. It was a very hot summer afternoon and with the fan whining the resident representatives were sweating it out. The ACP was polite and raised concerns which needed to be addressed and called his aides to make notes. A junior officer walked in with a tray of cold water, relieved the resident representatives looked expectantly with parched throats. To their horror the water was offered to the ACP and his aides only. The surprising part was that none of these police officers noticed the lack of hospitality and drank their water. A lady from the residents group could not tolerate this insensitivity on the part of the Police Department and blurted out that this was not right!! The silver lining was that the ACP was embarrassed enough to get them all cokes and Fantas in the end!

Our wait at the bank was over and before I stood this gentleman recited a couplet by Milton's Paradise Lost.  

Oh Conscience, into what abyss of fears

And horrors hast thou driven me; out of which

I find no way, from deep to deeper plunged!  

I wish I had asked his name.

Lost in Translation?

English is such a popular language, almost everyone from my maid to the auto fellow understand and speak with a sprinkling of words in their conversation. It is fun to hear some words mispronounced, used in a different connotation or just to be accepted in a conversation.

Let me begin with my maid, she is a woman no one messes with, she can take on 10 people half her age and get her job done, may it be at municipality or medical dispensary or the market. She has come a long way, educating her children and with great pride she claims that everyone of her five children can read and write English well. The other day she wanted a recommendation for her daughter who was called for an interview for a job. I helped her daughter make her resume and gave her a few prints and wished her all the best and told her I would see if I knew someone who would consider my recommendation! Next morning my maid came in, smiling from ear to ear. I knew there was good news and before I could ask she thanked me for helping her daughter in making her 'Tata bye bye' presentable. I asked her what she meant - so the recommendation worked? or they were impressed by her certificates. Then it finally dawned to me, that what she meant was Biodata! Phew!! That was tough. Now I can figure this quaint jumble and understand what she is trying to say.

There are a few people I know who want to speak the language to show off. Years ago, when I was expecting my first child, I got advise from all my neighbours, about what to eat, what not to eat, what to do and what not to do, frankly I could write a book today, just based on the advise of my concerned neighbours. One of them, a middle aged woman walked in one day and inspected my refrigerator and said, you know you should start eating more garbage to avoid constipation which is not a god thing in pregnancy. I nodded and caught on to what she wanted to say, which was - roughage or more fiber in my diet!! Later we became good friends and I took valuable advice from her. She would also come and take my opinion matters of shopping and what party wear would look good. One day, she walked in wearing a lovely but over-the-top kind of a saree. She looked at my expression and asked, am I looking too prompt?? This was classic and it was not easy for me, but I said she looked good. She went on to the party, more confident than happy!!

One more before I sign off. I went to a boutique to bye some outfits, and the owner is well known to me and very accommodating to me. Her daughter walked in while I was there. A sweet teenager who started chatting with me. I asked her what she wanted to do after school. Her mother quickly replied that her daughter likes a laid back life, and she has decided to become an English Professor in one of the elite girls college in Delhi. She would have to work half day and dreams of traveling in a 'lemonise' with a driver and have a good time! That's life!! I got it - the lemonise was meant to be understood as a Limousine!
What a lemon!!

Miss Call

Mobile phones are a necessity for everyone nowadays. My maids, milkman, Dhobi, every street vendor selling peanuts or vegetable feel so empowered to own a mobile phone today. For a long time I resisted getting a mobile myself until my kids prevailed on me hoping I would lend it to them to show off to their friends. That was 15 years back!  I cherish my childhood where there were no mobile phones and having a landline was also a great luxury. Our parents had no way to track us when we went out to play or sneaked out to the nearby roadside seller to buy the forbidden street foods!!  Today the mobile may seem like a formidable enemy for our children! Keeping track has never been so easy, though my son would say there are kids who find loopholes in this disadvantage to

Miss Call! This is so typical of India! I guess we all are so familiar with this most irritating phrase, which really makes me laugh or cry sometimes. I met my kabariwallah (junk buyer) the other day and wanted him to pay a visit to my house to pick up the junk I wanted to get rid off before Diwali, making way for Lakshmi to enter. He grinned and said, “miss call maar dena”. I am sure you would agree with me, which our American or British friends would have really wondered what he was talking about! I mean American-American and British- British, not Indian born Americans or British. My kabariwallah was trying to do his customer a great favour, which means I do not need to call him but just buzz him so that he would call me back and spend the money on the call. A collect call in a way! Customer is king and long live missed calls!

There are more dimensions to this that I suddenly discovered. Some bosses, bureaucrats, and many VIPs do want to feel that way by giving you a missed call and then wait for you to call. It is very intriguing to put any logic to this. Is this a cultural thing or only particular to us Indians?

I love my India!

 Don't miss the Khara Chicken on the extreme left of the board (it is literally standing!), on our way to Dehradun from Delhi

These are dancers at a fair, it takes them hours to have the bodies painted! This dance marks the harvest festival of Onam

 

Busy painters!!

What is in a name?

When a child is born, it is the most important moment in every parent’s life. Sometimes, in excitement parents sometimes go overboard and give very strange, weird and funny names to their children and they have to live with it for the rest of their lives!

There is a shop in our small town and it has this name: Jharu Mal Kura Chand & sons. For those who may not know the meaning of these names, Jharu is a broom and Kura is garbage, while Mal and Chand are just suffixes to these names. Having lived in a home with gardens, my family often hired gardeners to tend to the heavy work around the garden. I saw that many, or almost all of these gardeners had very strange names –for instance one was called Mata Badal (change your mom, yes I am serious, that’s what it means!), Baskari- this is an interesting one-it seems that this man’s mom had a baby almost each year, totaling to over a dozen, so her mother- in- law said, “it’s enough!” – meaning Bas Kari, so that was the name of this poor man. Another name is Peration, it is so bizarre that this name came about because she was born out of a cesarean section, so operation became Peration! In villages child mortality was very high so names given were such that no one cast an evil eyes on them so names like Chor – thief, Bhootra-ghostly, came about.

Then there are names very popular in the northern part of India, Lucky, Lovely, Prince. Believe me, they are all real people – Lucky is our very favourite driver who takes us around and has an burning desire to learn English and go to Canada (pronounced as Ken ae da). Lovely is another taxi stand owner where Lucky works, and Prince is another strapping young man who is the son of our car Mechanic – Kitty, (yes, a funny name too!). He has major aspirations to go to
Ken ae da. There are more such unbelievable names like – Dolly, Sweety, Baby, Baba, Pinky and so many more.

Now there are a few friends who really want to embarrass their kids with names like Ripon- after the Governor General and Viceroy of India – and this is the young girl’s name! Another friend has named his daughter - India, we all have realized that he is a great patriot but to name a child with the name of your country is taking it too far!!  One more name – Generail Singh, parents who wanted their son to become a General in the army!

There are very funny dog names as well. I think it does deserve another post. So look out for these strange names and mail some really unlikely ones soon.

Where have all the flowers gone?

I often wonder, where the soulful songs of Neil Diamond, Paul Anka, Cliff Richards, Abba and so many more, have gone. With the rise of rock stars like Lady Gaga, Eminem and their likes, where is music heading to? What is in this music that draws youngsters towards them, if you hear the lyrics – it is like any other adult movie, with four letter words, swear words and drugs. This is the new age! They even release a censored version for public broadcast! I often ask my younger son, who is a very accomplished piano and guitar player, what he enjoys in such kind of music, he says, mom you will never understand.

Our childhoods were stress free with almost no pressures, no Tiger Moms, no examination phobia, and NO IPODS, COMPUTERS, no 200 CHANNELS TV and NO GADGETS,  no MALLS or MULTIPLEXES! There was no competition to keep up with the joneses!! It was a very simple life. We went out for picnics, sometimes watched movies in theaters and watched whatever was one the one channel on TV, which was only aired from 6pm to 10pm. Just half an hour a day from 8pm to 8:30pm. My children today do not believe it. I came across a facebook post lately, which is so true:

The last SANE generation! - We are the last sane generation that learnt to play in the street, we are the first who've played video games, seen cartoons in color and went to amusement parks. - We were the last to record songs of the radio on cassettes and we are the pioneers of walk-mans and chat rooms... ...We Learned how to program the VCR before anyone else, play with the Atari,.................. Super Nintendo and believed that the Internet would be a free world. - We are the generation of the Thunder Cats, Scooby Doo, Tom And Jerry, Jungle Book, Popeye, G.I. JOE. Traveled in cars without seat belts or air-bags - lived without cell phones. Rode our bicycles down the road without brakes. We never had phone but still kept in touch. We did not have Play stations, 99 television stations, flat screens, surround sound, mp3s, iPods, computers and the Internet, ...but nevertheless we had a GREAT
Time !!! ...

To add to this we lived without air-conditioning, power cuts or no power cuts at the peak of summer, no invertors too! We were happy. Today homes come with all these necessities, which are no more luxuries. I guess we have moved with times, and try to give our children everything they demand and live in a fear of competition. Kids spend enormous amount of money to celebrate their birthdays at malls and restaurants unlike our times where birthdays were more like a family affair with cakes and snacks. Today we have theme parties for even toddlers!

I guess, kids today have too much of stress – to score over 95% in school, admission stress and so they kind of identify with music which is so stressful for us to listen to for us! Do they feel relaxed or simply want to forget the pressures around them find solace in stress itself?

I wonder if it is possible to give our children the childhood we had! Sigh!