Babloo

Have you watched the T V program Simpsons? Especially, the character - Homer Simpson? He is not one of my favourite characters. But somehow I relate him to a young man who works for us at the office – let’s call him Babloo.  I could have given him his own name here, but just incase he reads this post or stumbles upon this blog, which is highly unlikely or not likely in every remotest way possible. 

Babloo is a man with a very versatile personality and different facets to his character, much unlike Homer, but loves talking, (about himself) and tells us stories, which may seem preposterous but sound so real. He claims that he is capable of doing any kind of work you ask him – from cooking to making a project report for a non profit organization which would use public money for public services like a hospital or a school or an old people’s home. (This has been his dream lately). He claims to be an Ayurveda doctor as well! He has studied till 12^th grade but his native intelligence is impressive. He is a very short man, not more that 5 feet 3 inches but stands tall in everyway and likes to believe it as well. We wish him well and hope that the bubble he lives in does not ever burst. He dresses up like he is in the senior management of the company. Effusing an air of great importance around himself, he wears crisp ironed shirts, properly creased trousers, polished shoes everyday to office.

But, Babloo shaves once in a month!! This was strange as it gives him quite an unkempt look and in the summer months it looks quite uncomfortable for him as well. Though this is a very personal thing about having a beard or a mustache, but we asked him why he chooses to shave it off every month and not every day, it may be a religious thing or some vow he had made to the gods! He looked at us and smiled with a very vain look. Oh no!! I thought, there he goes again, with one of his stories.  He travels by the bus and the metro to reach the office everyday and many times (actually all the times) he is late. He told us that he has a very captivating smile and overpowering good looks, and he will reveal to us today, the reason why he is late to office everyday and also why he shaves once a month. What a strange mix of reasons!! Full of narcissistic oomph he told us that he is irresistible to women and they get distracted when they look at him and he has to camouflage his Adonis face to keep away from them. He said, women want to strike a conversation with him, with an excuse of asking him the time, or which is the next stop the bus or metro might make. Some women also elbow him and some try to gently push him to make way even if there is another way to the seat!  This was getting so interesting, I could not believe I had hit payload here!! So much of masala! I encouraged him to go on, much to the disgust of my family. You should have seen their faces… With encouragement from me, he went on – he told me that his landlady who is 50 years old is so smitten by him that she waits by the window like a lovelorn puppy and invites him to have coffee with her every evening when he returns from work. (He thinks coffee drinkers are higher up on the ladder and is developing a taste for instant coffee!). He lives on the first floor and the landlady on the ground floor, and most of the time he obliges and has coffee with her.

I wondered how his wife reacts to all this adulation and attention her husband gets. He smiled and paused with a pregnant pause, and then answered, she knows and is happy that she is lucky to be married to him. She knows what effect he has on women and has resigned to her fate of this kind of attention her better half receives! He also claims to get SMSs on his mobile from many women who want to know how he is or plainly simply hi! Does he reply to them – yes sometimes and he smiled.

I thought – was this a defense mechanism or merely an illusion? I think both. To create this make believe world and become a hero and to perceive everyone’s behaviour to compliment your existence is admirable. A man with very average looks, who you and I would not give a second glance, to live in this bliss is an amazing triumph over an illusion of the ‘mirror mirror on the wall’ syndrome and chutzpah for living life on your own terms!

Look out for more stories from Babloo’s life…